A few days ago, I watched a discussion on MTV about the Royals song by Lorde. Allegedly, this song is feminist and directed against all men. First of all, I don’t see anything feminist about it. And even if it were a feminist song, I don’t understand why the whole world is now turning its back on feminism.
The MTV discussion wasn’t interesting at all, but at least it gave me an interesting topic to think about and write an article about—”Why you should never date a feminist.“
Dating A Feminist
Dating a feminist can be an unpredictable and potentially disastrous experience. While it is admirable to support a person’s personal beliefs, it is important to be aware of the potential pitfalls that come with dating a feminist.
Feminists tend to have a strong sense of justice and a need for equality, but this can lead to arguments and disagreements that can quickly spiral out of control. Not to mention, the feminist viewpoint may clash with your own values and beliefs, leading to further tension in the relationship.
Lastly, feminists tend to have a strong sense of self-worth and autonomy, making them difficult to control or manipulate. For these reasons, it is important to remember that dating a feminist can be a challenging experience, and it is important to weigh the pros and cons before taking the plunge.
Potential For Arguments
Strong disagreements are bound to arise in any relationship, but the arguments that arise between two people who share different viewpoints can often be more intense and dramatic. This is particularly true when one person believes that their beliefs are The Truth.
Let’s say you had a dream about snakes, and you believe it has some deeper spiritual meaning. If you share your dream with a feminist, she’ll probably tell you it’s just a dream, random images of your mind. Whether you show them hundreds of articles, paperback dream dictionaries, or take them to a dream expert, they will make the same claim.
No, feminists are not narcissists or egoists, but if they believe in anything, they won’t change their minds, no matter what. They are extremely stubborn, without a doubt! And what follows from this? Never try to change them because they have to want to.
Even seemingly innocuous topics can cause conflict when dating a feminist, such as what brand of coffee one prefers or what type of car one drives. It is important to be aware of the potential for arguments before entering into a relationship with a strong-willed feminist.
Depending on the feminist, many values and beliefs that are commonly held by the general public appear antiquated and out of touch. Dating a feminist can mean accepting and potentially living by entirely new values. This can be particularly troubling when the values clash with your own personal or religious values.
For example, many feminists believe that the concept of marriage is outdated and patriarchal, or at the very least, open to reform.
If you are looking to get married and the feminist you are dating believes that marriage is no longer a relevant institution, it is important to remember that love and partnership do not require a piece of paper. A clash in values can also arise from the different areas of life where a feminist may place priority.
For example, many feminists place a high priority on a woman’s right to choose, but not all people share the same viewpoint. If a woman you are dating places a high priority on reproductive rights, but you are pro-life, there are bound to be some serious arguments.
Lack of Control
Dating a feminist can quickly become a struggle for control. This will especially be the case if you are a man dating a strong, assertive woman. Feminists view the world through a lens of power and control, and they are often quick to identify any areas of inequality.
If you are in a relationship with a feminist and you happen to be in a position of power, be prepared to have your actions and decisions constantly questioned.
A feminist will want to know why they made the decisions they did and will want to challenge any potential areas of inequality. Your partner’s constant questioning and challenging of your authority may make you feel uncomfortable, and this sense of powerlessness may lead to resentment.
Even if you do not feel that your authority has been challenged, the feminist you are dating is likely to have a strong sense of autonomy and may resist being controlled or manipulated by you. This may include wanting to make their own decisions without consulting you or potentially not wanting to engage in certain sexual activities that you may wish to explore.
Challenges of Dating a Feminist
Dating a feminist can be challenging on a number of levels. The first and potentially most pressing concern is that you may not actually be dating a feminist but that your partner is simply dating a man. The term feminist has become diluted and used as a marketing tool, leading many men to claim the title in order to appeal to women. It is important to remember that dating a feminist does not mean dating a man.
Remember, a feminist believes that all people, regardless of their sex, should be treated equally. If you are dating a feminist, but you are dating a man, you are in for a potentially hazardous relationship. Another potential challenge when dating a feminist is that they are very likely to have strong friendships with other women. If you are dating a feminist, you may find that you are expected to be open and accepting of this group of friends.
If you have a tendency to be jealous or controlling, dating a feminist may not be the best choice for you. Jealousy and insecurity can easily lead to controlling and destructive behaviors, and dating a woman who has a large group of friends is likely to bring out these insecurities.
Potential Benefits of Dating a Feminist
Dating a feminist can be a beneficial experience if you approach it with an open mind and willingness to compromise. Dating a feminist means dating a strong, independent person who is willing to fight for equality and justice.
Dating a feminist can be exciting, as you are likely to meet interesting, dynamic people. Dating a feminist also means that you will have the opportunity to experience a new way of viewing the world. Dating a feminist can open your eyes to new ideas, new perspectives, and new ways of thinking. Dating a feminist can be a positive experience if you are willing to let go of any preconceived notions or expectations.
Feminists are women, too!
Dating a feminist can be a challenging experience, but it can also be extremely rewarding. If you enter into a relationship with an open mind and are willing to compromise, you can have a rewarding, romantic relationship with a strong, empowered person. Remember that dating a feminist is different than dating a woman, and keep an open mind.